Your strategy game map campaign is bad

map campaign bad

Phantom Brigade and Company of Heroes 3 are two very different games. The former is a turn-based-simultaneous-resolution tactics game about mechs, the latter a base-building WW2 RTS. However, they both feature map campaigns that suffer awfully from lack of variety. We’re fighting boring, repetitive battles against supposedly distinctive enemy formations that all feel the same. These shortcomings do not encourage sticking with it to the end. They’re not, however, unsalvageable. With some elbow grease, we could make them work.

Continue reading “Your strategy game map campaign is bad”

Milk inside a bag of milk inside a bag of milk review | The graphics are jank, but so is the brain

I’d be perfectly happy to only play games that feature a/the T-55s, but that would be a tragic narrowing of my palette. It is actually helpful to be aware of games outside of my sphere of weird interests – specialization is for insects and I’m a full human bean. Milk inside a bag of milk inside a bag of milk is definitely out there in the savage terra incognita, and it only cost like €0,39 on sale. With a price that low and playthrough time reportedly very short, I could afford to dip my toes outside my comfort zone.

Continue reading “Milk inside a bag of milk inside a bag of milk review | The graphics are jank, but so is the brain”

Hogwarts Legacy beginner guide – How to pretend you’re still a moral person

Harry Potter fans, rejoice! Hogwarts Legacy is slated to become the best selling game of 2023 and the ratings are high across the boards. Even the most Muggle game reviewer is enchanted by this trip into the Wizarding World! Unfortunately, there’s still the question of whether you can be a good person while financially supporting works associated with noted transphobe J. K. Rowling. But that’s why I wrote this Hogwarts Legacy guide, my morally conflicted wizard friend! Read it to learn all the magical tips and philosophical tricks!

Continue reading “Hogwarts Legacy beginner guide – How to pretend you’re still a moral person”

Broken Arrow demo | Review in 7 screenshots

Ever since Wargame: European Escalation came out and started the Cold War Gone Hot craze, the fans clamored for one thing: to push the timeline out of Cold War and into the future. And while WARNO demonstrates that Eugen isn’t quite willing to make that leap yet, Steel Balalaika is. And I got to play the Broken Arrow demo earlier than it appeared on Steam Next fest, neener.

Continue reading “Broken Arrow demo | Review in 7 screenshots”

Second Front review | Men against tanks

If you’re reading this post, you probably already know what ASL is. For those not very much in the know, it’s Advanced Squad Leader, probably the most famous of hex-and-chit wargames, which involve pushing around small cardboard counters (chits) representing units on a map split into hexagons (hex). In ASL, you do that to recreate World War 2 by using some fairly complicated rules. In Second Front, we have the next best thing to a full ASL adaptation for the PC.

Continue reading “Second Front review | Men against tanks”

Cradle review | Not necessarily best in life

I was curious about Cradle since I first learned of it many moons ago. Quest games aren’t my forte, but they, it’s a weird future steppe, a flying train, a mysterious dome and a sexy android lady. Only took me seven years, but I did it! I played this narrative-heavy first-person quest , finished it, and wrote a review that will definitely hurt the SEO rankings. Continue reading “Cradle review | Not necessarily best in life”

Deathloop review | What if Dishonored wasn’t a lil’ bitch about killing?

We want our FPS games to be more. We want them to ooze style. We want to break up violent action with worldbuilding and wonder. We want to not merely run around, gun in hand, but also jump, leap and teleport. We may even desire a gun that makes headshots explode. We desire a game called Deathloop.

Continue reading “Deathloop review | What if Dishonored wasn’t a lil’ bitch about killing?”