Video games. Miniatures. Boardgames. Shitposting.
Look, I went a bit long when writing the dang review of PC Invasion, so I’ll try to keep this one a bit more concise. Of course, as a person with Opinions about both Company of Heroes and Dawn of War series, I have stuff to say about Company of Heroes 3.
Continue reading “Company of Heroes 3 review | Desert Farts vs. Afrika Corpse”
Harry Potter fans, rejoice! Hogwarts Legacy is slated to become the best selling game of 2023 and the ratings are high across the boards. Even the most Muggle game reviewer is enchanted by this trip into the Wizarding World! Unfortunately, there’s still the question of whether you can be a good person while financially supporting works associated with noted transphobe J. K. Rowling. But that’s why I wrote this Hogwarts Legacy guide, my morally conflicted wizard friend! Read it to learn all the magical tips and philosophical tricks!
Continue reading “Hogwarts Legacy beginner guide – How to pretend you’re still a moral person”
Ever since Wargame: European Escalation came out and started the Cold War Gone Hot craze, the fans clamored for one thing: to push the timeline out of Cold War and into the future. And while WARNO demonstrates that Eugen isn’t quite willing to make that leap yet, Steel Balalaika is. And I got to play the Broken Arrow demo earlier than it appeared on Steam Next fest, neener.
Continue reading “Broken Arrow demo | Review in 7 screenshots”
If you’re reading this post, you probably already know what ASL is. For those not very much in the know, it’s Advanced Squad Leader, probably the most famous of hex-and-chit wargames, which involve pushing around small cardboard counters (chits) representing units on a map split into hexagons (hex). In ASL, you do that to recreate World War 2 by using some fairly complicated rules. In Second Front, we have the next best thing to a full ASL adaptation for the PC.
I was curious about Cradle since I first learned of it many moons ago. Quest games aren’t my forte, but they, it’s a weird future steppe, a flying train, a mysterious dome and a sexy android lady. Only took me seven years, but I did it! I played this narrative-heavy first-person quest , finished it, and wrote a review that will definitely hurt the SEO rankings. Continue reading “Cradle review | Not necessarily best in life”
We want our FPS games to be more. We want them to ooze style. We want to break up violent action with worldbuilding and wonder. We want to not merely run around, gun in hand, but also jump, leap and teleport. We may even desire a gun that makes headshots explode. We desire a game called Deathloop.
Continue reading “Deathloop review | What if Dishonored wasn’t a lil’ bitch about killing?”
Fantasy Flight Games’ Rogue Trader TTRPG looked beautiful but was mechanically terrible. And that was only partially due to the Warhammer Fantasy RPG engine not being able to handle automatic firearms. However, with the license now in the claws of Owlcat Games, Warhammer 40,000: Rogue Trader the CRPG seems like it’s going to both look cool and play well.
Continue reading “Warhammer 40,000: Rogue Trader preview | Profit factor go up!”
What if you could play War Thunder’s realistic tank mode, but in single player and without Gaijin’s meddling with balance? Because that’s pretty much how Gunner, HEAT, PC!* is shaping up to be. It’s a relaxed tank sim that’s easy on the controls and hard on the simulation – a sort of land-bound cousin of Tiny Combat Arena.
Continue reading “Gunner, HEAT, PC! preview | A tank for you and me”
“Nostalgia-proof” is the trait that I proudly tout in-lieu of having a personality. You can’t fool me into playing a new game simply by shit that will remind me of my childhood. However, I have recently gained an appreciation for the decrepit yet flashy dystopian future as depicted in the movies of the 80s and the 90s. That means yon Johnny Mnemonic, Total Recall, The Soldier, and so on. That’s why I jumped at the chance to preview the blood-splattered turn-based tactical battles in Homicidal All-Stars!
Continue reading “Homicidal All-Stars preview | I’d watch this show”
When I finally got into the Warhammer 40,000: Tacticus beta pre-launch, Snowprint Studios hadn’t yet replaced their standard intro. So my GRIM DARK tactics were always preceded by a cheerfully smiling snowflake accompanied by a fairy “ding!” I thought that was funny.
Continue reading “Warhammer 40,000: Tacticus review | The Grind Darkness”