Priest Simulator demo In Priest Simulator, you play as count Orlok, a vampire and non-practicing alcoholic. Your girlfriend got possesed by the devil during spring break and now wants to go outside and travel. To break this curse, you come to a quiet Polish town that is known for its potent holy wine. Except that the church there has been thrashed by the Satanists and the priest is nowhere to be found. Orlock picks up the phone in the tabernacle aaand now he's the priest!